just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Everclear isn't food dammit
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
