Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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