Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
