It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The adults are the big ones right?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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