You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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