you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
