i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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