We won't sleep together?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
