i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
