I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My penis needs a shock collar
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
