the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
