So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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