I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
