Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
