We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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