it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
