it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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