I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
