There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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