If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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