Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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