Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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