She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
