your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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