What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
