Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
