He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
