I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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