I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
