The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
