Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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