Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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