Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
