My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
