I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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