I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
