Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
