It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
