Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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