Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize