I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
