Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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