I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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