yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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