i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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