I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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