I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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