I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
