isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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