I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
