I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
