Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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