I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
