? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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