Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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