I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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