I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
