Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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