nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
