My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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